my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
