Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i was born a porn star she said
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
