My liver just broke up with me...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
