Sponge bath it is.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
