Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
