after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
