Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
