He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
