and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
