I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
