I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have feelings that need drinking.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
