i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
