I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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