Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We have started to decorate penises.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
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