she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize