I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
