Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize