You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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