You smell like a Billy Joel song
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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