if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
