i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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