they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So vagazzling was a success
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
