My friends, they love my intelligence
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
