Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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