I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
