I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
