We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
