I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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