One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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