umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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