you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize