Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
