White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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