hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
