Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just tell him i said nine months
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
