she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
