On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize