you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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