what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
