I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
