I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
