I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The air was thick with penises
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i out mim tonsoeep
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