Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
