I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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