a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize