so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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