I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
