Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
