My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
