I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
