he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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