real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
