At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
