i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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