So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
