I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
