Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
